All week long, we've been commemorating the momentous occasion of Madonna's 60th birthday with a series of lists ranking our favourite songs, tours, albums, and videos from the pop superstar. Today, the controls are handed over to you, the readers of Wet Thud, as we present the results of our readers' poll determining Madonna's 60 best songs according to your votes. So, for everyone wondering where the hell staples like "Holiday" and "Material Girl" were on Wet Thud's ranked list, you've got nobody but yourselves to blame if they didn't make the cut this time around. A while back, we put out a call via social media for Madonna fans to submit their own Top 60 lists to Wet Thud, leaving us to tabulate the final outcome. As both luck and coincidence would have it, we received exactly 60 entries from readers. Big thanks to Adal, Adam, Alison, Angela, Ann, Brian, Cheryl, Christina, Colleen, Craig, Daniel, "DJDaddy", Emeline, Emily, Ezra, Frankie, Heather, Jane, Jay, Jennifer, John, Julie, Kai, Keera, Kelly, Krystin, Li, Lisa, "luckystar77", Lucy, Marianna, Martin, Mary, "maverick3470", Michael G., Michael S., Mike, Naomi, Nilaash, Noah, Pam, Paul, Pav, Peter, Phong, Rex, Ross, Sal, Scott, Sonya, Steph, Talia, Thea, Timothy, Tori, Trevor, Viki, Wendy, Wes, and Zoë for participating. Now, without further ado, here are the results of our readers poll... WET THUD READERS POLL RESULTS: THE TOP 60 MADONNA SONGS
030. "Die Another Day" (2002) Director: Traktor The second most expensive music video ever made (after Michael and Janet Jackson's "Scream"), "Die Another Day" casts Madonna in the role of a Bond-like super spy escaping a torture chamber in her turn at creating a theme song for the franchise. Elsewhere in the video, two Madonnas violently battle each other in a scene Sigmund Freud would definitely have things to say about.
029. "Girl Gone Wild" (2012) Directors: Mert & Marcus This one is arguably more style than substance, but we're okay with that when the style looks this good. Recalling the steaminess of videos like "Erotica" and "Justify My Love," "Girl Gone Wild" likely would've been banned by MTV once upon a time, but almost flew under the radar in 2012.
028. "Erotica" (1992) Director: Fabien Baron The filmic counterpart to her controversial 'Sex' book, the promo for "Erotica" was banned by a number of music video outlets. Which is almost precisely what Madonna wanted to happen, given her success with marketing her previous restricted video for home release. Cameo appearances by Naomi Campbell, Isabella Rossellini, Big Daddy Kane and more.
027. "Secret" (1994) Director: Melodie McDaniel Madonna as nightclub singer in a Harlem speakeasy.
026. "Cherish" (1989) Director: Herb Ritts Madonna persuaded one of her favourite photographers to work with, the late Herb Ritts, to direct a video for the third single from the Like A Prayer album. His vision saw Madonna cavorting with a group of mermen on a beach in Malibu.
025. "Bedtime Story" (1995) Director: Mark Romanek A truly surreal visual to go with Björk's surreal lyricism, the video for Madonna's "Bedtime Story" is a part of the permanent collection at the Museum of Modern Art.
024. "4 Minutes" [with Justin Timberlake] (2008) Director: Jonas & François In which "four minutes to save the world" is interpreted as outrunning an encroaching geometric pattern that threatens to turn our skin transparent. With dancing!
023. "I Want You" [with Massive Attack] (1995) Director: Earle Sebastian The video for Madonna's Marvin Gaye cover with Massive Attack, "I Want You" is based on a short story by Dorothy Parker.
022. "Bitch I'm Madonna" [with Nicki Minaj] (2015) Director: Jonas Åkerlund Madonna's most recent video (it's been too long!) is a flashy reminder that Madonna is Madonna. With cameos from Beyoncé, Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj, Kanye West, Chris Rock, and more.
021. "Justify My Love" (1990) Director: Jean-Baptiste Mondino Nipples have traditionally been a really hard thing for Americans to deal with. The amount of hype caused by MTV's refusal to play the video for "Justify My Love," the subsequent column inches dedicated to salaciously exaggerating what was in it, a god damned episode of Nightline to premiere the thing in primetime...you can't pay for that kind of publicity. It became the first retail video single and sold ridiculously well.
020. "Take A Bow" (1994) Director: Michael Haussman Winner of the 1995 VMA for Best Female Video, "Take A Bow" features Madonna as the overlooked darling of a heedless bullfighter companion.
019. "Rain" (1993) Director: Mark Romanek It's meta-video Madonna as we're with the singer on the set of another film shoot in the clip for "Rain." The faux director in the clip is musician Ryuichi Sakamoto. Winner of two VMAs for Best Art Direction and Best Cinematography.
018. "Music" (2000) Director: Jonas Åkerlund Don't be fooled by the champagne flute--that's apple juice in Madonna's glass in the video for "Music" 'cause she was quite pregnant with her son Rocco at the time. Much like in the clip for "You Must Love Me" (filmed when she was expecting daughter Lola), M spends most of this video strategically camouflaged by her surroundings, so as not to raise too many eyebrows given the booze-and-strippers-in-a-limo storyline.
017. "Open Your Heart" (1986) Director: Jean-Baptiste Mondino Madonna plays a peep show performer in the promo for "Open Your Heart." Notable for increasing usage of the word "bustiere" by about 40000%. Nominated for the 1987 VMA for Best Female Video, it lost to "Papa Don't Preach."
016. "What It Feels Like For A Girl" (2001) Director: Guy Ritchie While rumour is, before details changed, the original director attached to the video for "Open Your Heart" was Madonna's then husband Sean Penn, the actual honour of first-husband-to-direct-Madonna-in-a-video went to then husband Guy Ritchie for "What It Feels Like For A Girl." Another one banned from MTV, the clip features M and an elderly woman on a violent, apparently anti-male rampage through the city that ends with the pair committing suicide.
015. "Borderline" (1984) Director: Mary Lambert The final of the five singles off her debut album, "Borderline" was released just as Madonna was starting to blow up. With a notably increased budget over her previous efforts, this is the video that got Madonna into heavy rotation on our TV screens.
014. "Drowned World/Substitute For Love" (1998) Director: Walter Stern Despite Ray Of Light's continued huge sales, the album's third international single, "Drowned World/Substitute For Love" wasn't given a North American release, and the video remains relatively rarely shown here. Curiously, it actually was given a wide release in England, in spite of the seemingly obvious echoes of a paparazzi chase in connection with Princess Diana's death just a year earlier. Portraying Madonna outrunning the trappings of her celebrity, the at-first subtly distorted visual effects grow more intense the closer she ventures into the thick of things.
013. "Human Nature" (1995) Director: Jean-Baptiste Mondino She may be looking tough as nails in head-to-toe S&M gear, but "Human Nature" is one of the rarer instances where Madonna shows off a more playful side. Trivia: The dog in the video was Madonna's chihuahua, Chiquita.
012. "Nothing Really Matters" (1999) Director: Johan Renck Japanese fetishism aside, the clip for "Nothing Really Matters" is a stunningly shot, dreamlike trip, in which Madonna coddles a waterbag baby inside a decommissioned nuclear reactor among a group of Japanese butoh dancers. Because of course she does.
011. "Hung Up" (2005) Director: Johan Renck Flashbacks of Jazzercise and 20 Minute Workout videotapes abound, the video for "Hung Up" is, in part, Madonna's tribute to the dance movies of John Travolta. As the first single from her beat-driven Confessions On A Dance Floor album, the clip appropriately features a lot of outstanding dancing.
010. "Deeper And Deeper" (1992) Director: Bobby Woods Mixing cultural references from Studio 54 to Italian cinema, the video for "Deeper And Deeper" specifically gives love to the work of both artist Andy Warhol and director Luchino Visconti. Includes appearances from Debi Mazar, Sofia Coppola, Udo Kier, and Chi Chi LaRue
009. "Ray Of Light" (1998) Director: Jonas Åkerlund The video that sold a billion denim jackets. Winner of five VMAs, including Best Direction, Best Female Video, and Video of the Year.
008. "Don't Tell Me" (2000) Director: Jean-Baptiste Mondino You had me at slow-motion, dancing, leather cowboy fantasy.
007. "Like A Prayer" (1989) Director: Mary Lambert Probably the most complex narrative of any of Madonna's videos, "Like A Prayer" manages to cram a lot of heavy topics (theft, murder, racism, bigotry, corruption, faith, power) into a four minute promo clip with no dialogue. The video caused such an uproar that the Vatican called for a boycott of Pepsi because Madonna had a sponsorship deal with them. The cola giant eventually canceled their campaign. Madonna laughed all the way to the bank. Winner of the Viewer's Choice VMA, coincidentally sponsored in 1989 by Pepsi.
006. "Papa Don't Preach" (1986) Director: James Foley Pretty much a visual representation of the song's lyrical theme, the video for "Papa Don't Preach" presents Madonna as the teenaged protagonist, fearful of her father's reaction to the news that she's pregnant. Stars Danny Aiello as Madonna's dad. Winner of the 1987 VMA for Best Female Video.
005. "Vogue" (1990) Director: David Fincher Golden age glamour meets Paris Is Burning. Winner of three VMAs, including the award for Best Direction.
004. "Oh Father" (1989) Director: David Fincher Famed film director David Fincher pays reverential respect to 'Citizen Kane' in the video for "Oh Father."
003. "Frozen" (1998) Director: Chris Cunningham The dawn of Madonna 2.0, the video for "Frozen," the lead single off 1998's Ray Of Light was a pivotal moment of reinvention for the singer. Spearheading what came to be regarded as a seismic comeback despite her not really having gone anywhere (she'd won a Golden Globe for 'Evita' just a year earlier), the video helped to convey Madonna's newfound sense of spiritual mysticism. Winner of the VMA for Best Special Effects.
002. "Bad Girl" (1993) Director: David Fincher Oscar winner Christopher Walken stars as guardian angel to Madonna's character of Louise Oriole in the video for "Bad Girl." A corporate executive tormented by an unrequited love, she finds solace in a number of vices that are slowly destroying her.
001. "Express Yourself" (1989) Director: David Fincher Yup, all four David Fincher-directed videos made our Top Five. He and Madonna did some amazing work together, but nothing more exquisite than the 'Metropolis'-inspired production of "Express Yourself." Do the visuals actually correspond with the song's lyrical themes in any meaningful way? We're not sure, but when we're given dazzling eye candy like this, we don't really care--we just love what we see. Winner of three VMAs, including Best Direction.
Today is Madonna's 60th (!) birthday. Yes, you read that correctly. For many of us of a certain age, she just seems like something that's always been there, like part of the fabric of the universe. But it's true, she's a real, live, aging human being, and a big, round birthday like this one seems like an occasion worth marking. We've been celebrating all week by counting down our favourite songs, tours, and albums from Madonna, but today, we take a look back at her videos! Music video is the medium that helped make her a global superstar, and so to commemorate her 60th (!), Wet Thud presents our ranked list of her 60 Best Videos. Enjoy...
060. "This Used To Be My Playground" (1992) Director: Alek Keshishian Director Alek Keshishian had worked with Madonna on the infamous Truth Or Dare documentary before helming the promotional clip for her single from the 1992 film A League Of Their Own. Remarkably wholesome for a Madonna effort in the early nineties, the video integrates scenes from the film and footage of the singer into a sort of living photo album. The visual effects hold up a quarter century on, which means they probably cost a stupid fortune at the time.
059. "I'll Remember" (1994) Director: Alek Keshishian After Alek Keshishian directed Truth Or Dare, Madonna returned the love by providing the lead single off the soundtrack of his feature film debut, the 1994 dramedy, With Honors.
058. "Everybody" (1982) Director: Ed Steinberg Her very first foray into the medium that made her a star, the video for Madonna's debut single had a budget of just $1500. Shot on location at legendary gay disco, the Paradise Garage, the clip offers a pre-fame glimpse of one of the world's most recognizable people.
057. "You Must Love Me" (1996) Director: Alan Parker A pregnant Madonna is tucked behind a piano to perform the sole new track written for the film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd-Webber and Tim Rice's Evita, in which she stars. Intercut with scenes from the movie, the straightforward clip highlights the song itself, which won both the Golden Globe and Oscar for Best Song in 1997.
056. "Miles Away" (2009) Director: Nathan Rissman Unreleased until the Celebration video compilation in 2009, the clip for Hard Candy single "Miles Away" is a tour document filmed during the 2008 leg of Madonna's Sticky & Sweet Tour.
055. "Love Don't Live Here Anymore" (1996) Director: Jean-Baptiste Mondino Simple but effective, the video for Madonna's cover of the Rose Royce classic, "Love Don't Live Here Anymore" consists of a singular camera shot held for the video's full duration.
054. "Live To Tell" (1986) Director: James Foley Another of Madonna's soundtrack videos, the clip for "Live To Tell" intercuts footage from the mostly forgotten Sean Penn-Christopher Walken movie 'At Close Range' with dramatically lit shots of Madonna singing the song on a blackened soundstage. Like many of her videos, it was most notable at the time for Madonna's makeover, depicting the singer out of her usual uber-accessorized, pop-punk aesthetic.
053. "Lucky Star" (1984) Director: Arthur Pierson Madonna's third video is a slightly higher budget affair than her prior efforts, but only just. Trivia: the male dancer in the video is Madonna's brother, Christopher.
052. "True Blue" (1986) Director: James Foley Madonna heads down to the malt shop in her convertible in this ridiculous eighties homage to the fifties.
051. "Who's That Girl?" (1987) Director: Peter Rosenthal The clip for the title track from the soundtrack to Madonna's movie, 'Who's That Girl' sticks pretty close to the formula for soundtrack videos, with shots of Madonna intercut with scenes from the film. Where it loses points for the unexplained presence of the children cavorting with Madonna throughout the video, it balances out for the inclusion of the none-more-eighties animation sequence part way through the song.
050. "Burning Up" (1983) Director: Steve Barron Before she was a singer, actor, director, designer, businesswoman, or any of the other titles she's earned over the years, Madonna was a dancer. Famous for her often overtly sexual moves, she has made an art out of writhing on the ground. "Burning Up" marks the first time we saw her literally hit the floor.
049. "Give It 2 Me" [with Pharrell] (2008) Directors: Tom Munro & Nathan Rissman There was a time when every new Madonna video seemed like a major event. But over time, as she's become busy with other business ventures, charity projects, and having a family, videos may not always be a top priority anymore. Sometimes that will make them feel a bit like afterthoughts, like with "Give It 2 Me." She looks great, and it's stylish as hell, but it's little more than her 2008 Elle magazine cover shoot come to life.
048. "Jump" (2006) Director: Jonas Åkerlund Literal visual interpretations of lyrics in videos are usually the worst, but director Jonas Åkerlund's footage of parkour artists jumping about the streets of Tokyo is beautifully filmed, and the colourful setting fits the feel of the song. The only drawback is, due to the time constraints of being on tour, Madonna's portion of the clip is filmed entirely on a soundstage which, despite its decorations, feels detached from the Japanese aesthetic of the rest of the video.
047. "Love Profusion" (2003) Director: Luc Besson Depicting Madonna in her I-write-children's-books-now look, the promo for "Love Profusion" shows her out for a stroll through a green screen fantasy, culminating with her disappearing into a cloud of fairies. Not for the first time, I'm sure.
046. "Living For Love" (2015) Director: J.A.C.K. We might have known Madonna had a thing for matadors after already featuring them in the videos for both "Take A Bow" and "You'll See," but it wasn't until her clip for "Living For Love" that we realized what those first two videos were sorely lacking: More. Men.
045. "You'll See" (1995) Director: Michael Haussman The sequel to the previous year's "Take A Bow" video, "You'll See" um...sees Madonna getting her revenge and walking out on her matador love interest.
044. "Material Girl" (1985) Director: Mary Lambert To this day, the words "Material Girl" remain synonymous with Madonna for people who think it's still 1985. Pretty much as iconic as the film performance it's referencing, the song's video clip riffs on Marilyn Monroe's rendition of "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend" in the film version of 'Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.'
043. "Beautiful Stranger" (1999) Director: Brett Ratner You'd be forgiven if, for nearly the first two minutes of the video for "Beautiful Stranger," you assumed this was one of those weird celebrity collaborations where the two parties complete their filming entirely separately, and were never in the same room together. However, around the midpoint of the clip, Madonna makes it very clear she is indeed in the same space as funnyman Mike Myers through an escalating series of flirtatious moves.
042. "Give Me All Your Luvin'" [with M.I.A. & Nicki Minaj] (2012) Director: Megaforce Madonna scored the lucrative gig of the halftime show at the 2012 Super Bowl, and we're stuck with this weird, football-themed tie-in for the rest of time as a result.
041. "Fever" (1993) Director: Stéphane Sednaoui Light on narrative, but heavy on impactful visuals, the video for "Fever" further cemented Madonna's role as a fashion icon. In various shots, director Stéphane Sednaoui portrays M in styles that appear to reference figures as disparate as Medusa, Joan of Arc, Venus, and an ancient goddess.
040. "Me Against The Music" [with Britney Spears] (2003) Director: Paul Hunter You may have noticed that the YouTube thumbnails for each of these videos features a still of Madonna's face. Except for this one. "Me Against The Music" was a duet, technically billed as Britney Spears featuring Madonna, from the former's In The Zone album. Not entirely sure what's going on in this video. There's some sort of power struggle. There's suggestions of a lesbian relationship. Are they fighting for that bed frame? Why is there a swing?
039. "Hollywood" (2003) Director: Jean-Baptiste Mondino "Inspired by" the photography of Guy Bourdin, the video for "Hollywood" resulted in a lawsuit between Bourdin's estate and Madonna, director Jean-Baptiste Mondino, and Warner Brothers Records.
038. "Turn Up The Radio" (2012) Director: Tom Munro Madonna outruns the paparazzi (real ones--this video was filmed in Italy), and goes on a joyride with some friends.
037. "Celebration" (2009) Director: Jonas Åkerlund One of the best things about seeing Madonna live is the jaw-dropping talent of her dancers. Filmed in Milan between shows of her Sticky & Sweet excursion, the video for "Celebration" captures that tour's hoofers in all their glorious free styling action.
036. "Like A Virgin" (1984) Director: Mary Lambert Venice, the gondola, the lion, the wedding dress, the 'Boy Toy' belt...need we say more?
035. "Ghosttown" (2015) Director: Jonas Åkerlund There's been a nuclear event, but Madonna, of course, has survived. Dressed in her post-apocalyptic, steampunky finest, she goes for a walk, only to bump into Terrence Howard. They solve everything through dance. The end.
034. "The Power Of Good-Bye" (1998) Director: Matthew Rolston Madonna plays a game of sexy chess against sexy Goran Višnjić in a sexy beach house.
033. "La Isla Bonita" (1987) Director: Mary Lambert The video for "La Isla Bonita" might seem mired in stereotypes by today's standards, but it's worth noting some of the trends depicted actually became overused tropes in part because of the popularity of this video. Trivia: One of the teenaged background characters is actor Benicio Del Toro.
032. "American Pie" (2000) Director: Philipp Stölzl A cover of "American Pie" is about as necessary or welcome as a cover of "Stairway To Heaven," but Madonna did it anyway. The video for Madonna's version is like a more inclusive take on those national anthem reels that TV stations used to play, back when they actually signed off for the night.
031. "Sorry" (2006) Director: Jamie King One of the more curious storylines to a Madonna video, the clip for "Sorry" picks up where the promo for "Hung Up" left off, catching M and her dancers leaving the club and piling into a white, windowless van. After driving around the city at night, abducting a series of men, we're suddenly in a cage match watching Madonna fend off her would-be attackers with a string of combative yoga moves. Naturally, the whole affair ends at a roller rink.
